Self-Growth – Identify Toxic People And Surround With Good Ones

Prabhleen Gupta

Prabhleen Gupta

Founder-Personal Mastery

Self-Growth – Identify Toxic People And Surround With Good Ones

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You have been working on yourself, reading self-help books, doing seminars and even tried some yoga and meditation. Despite of all this, your life is still a mess and is not moving towards success, happiness and growth that you want. If this is true for you, then working on this one thing might save you a lot of time and effort.

The environment in which we move influences us much more than we think, just imagine what it is like to be surrounded eight hours a day by pessimistic people; people who constantly complain about everything; people who only criticize; who only watch what they are doing and badmouth other people. And when someone stands out, they only try to sink him and see how they can affect him.

They are really mediocre people who have no desire to get out of where they are and live totally bitter about that situation.

When you are surrounded by these people, (sometimes it can be at work , sometimes it can be friends that you have since you were little) and sometime, without realizing it, you end up entering that pessimistic, defeatist, bitter vicious circle.

Bitter for me is the key, because they are those people who live a life that they do not like , but do nothing to get out of there.

When these types of people constantly surround you, two things can happen:

One that for whatever reason you do not dare to change, do not dare to say that enough is enough and you will continue reluctantly, probably somatise yourself, and end up with an ulcer.

On the other hand, you may give up those thoughts and suddenly one day realize it and say to yourself “But I wasn’t like that, I used to be a happy person, a person who liked to do many things, that I always saw something positive …”

And when we are starting a new lifestyle, when we have decided to make a change such as starting an online venture; quitting a job for a dream we’ve always had…. It may be that the people around us do not understand it. And they are people who love us and with the best of intentions are only trying to protect us.

But sometimes in those moments in which you also do not feel completely safe , simply because you are doing something different, or because you do not know very well where you are going either, small phrases or small random comments can affect you much more than at other times.

And I’m going to give you a very silly example but I do think it is noteworthy:

Imagine that you are going down the street and suddenly someone from the other side of the street yells at you, “You are crazy”.

After the initial astonishment and the fact that you are surely going to tell your family and friends later, this event will have no further impact on your life.

But imagine that the same phrase is told by your partner/friend just when you have told him/her about that idea that you have been dreaming of for so long and you have just said “Look, I want to do this because I’m sure it will work and I’m going to do it.”

And your partner/friend tells you: “You are crazy”. That can be very destructive.

And so many ideas, so many projects, so many wonderful people have abandoned their dreams at this early stage simply because they did not have the proper support.

When we are going to do something, it is important to surround ourselves with like-minded people.

If not, it will cost us much more to make a change. Such as, if you want to start a healthy diet and your friends always go to fast food restaurants, or if they are always watching TV, and criticize those who go to the gym, suddenly at some point you want to do just that. It is going to cost you a lot to do it because the environment is not going to be conspiring in your favour.

Not all people are at the same moment of personal growth nor are they focused in the same direction. And that’s okay. However, when you want to make an important change, it is essential that you choose very cautiously who you going to surround yourself with and exclude in your closest environment.

If people who are sharing your values, your purposes and your objectives are not there; you have to establish those relationships, you have to find a way to connect with those people, who are in tune with you.

Everything is much easier if you surround yourself with the right people. Surely, you would like to be with people who inspire you. With people who are not afraid of change. Or better yet! Keep taking action despite their fears.

When we are interacting with such like-minded people, we feel better, we achieve more because our level of commitment and our chances of success increase because we are constantly inspired , constantly supported and feel understood.

That is the ideal emotional state to do anything, when you feel completely flowing with what you are doing.

I like to interact with people to whom when I say “ I want to do this ”, they say “ OK! Let’s see how you can do it! ”. For me that vision is fundamental.

I’ve even had people tell me, “Don’t do this because it’s impossible for it to work out because I’ve already tried…”

We are not all the same person and we can obtain different results, but for that it is important that we have something that constantly recharges our energy, and when we are alone, it costs more.

There will be moments of ups and downs and it is essential that in those moments of downturn, you have your tribe, you have your pack, your support group to support you.

And you will continue to advance with those people out of inertia and because they are going to take you with them; And when you are back in your moment of splendor, maybe it will be the turn in which you are going to be supporting other people.

You do not need to feel like a freak every time you talk with your friends about what you would like to do. For example, you would like to start an online project; you have finally found something that you are passionate about and want to give your life to a cause and you want to dedicate yourself to transforming lives.

If, when you share something like that, the people around you raise their eyebrows without a little thinking. It is a red flag.

I am not saying that you should leave them (far from it!) However, I would recommend you to look for those other people who are going to be sharing exactly what you feel and that they will want you to get there too, because a success story is an inspiration for them and not a defeat.

We have to look for people who have that growth mentality, mentality of deserving and that to succeed you don’t need to sink others. And flee from those who get angry or jealous when someone else has succeeded.

You have to be clear that other people are not taking anything away from you, and it is important to surround yourself with people who understand this, who are clear that there is something for everyone as long as we work to achieve it and do not let anyone destroy our emotions, motivation and the desire to get ahead.

That does not mean that everything will be perfect. That is why we need those people who are going to be there supporting us when we have a rough day. Remember to always surround yourself with people who allow you to become the person you need to be to fulfill all your dreams.

To move in the direction of personal development and success, it is important to be able to tell the difference between toxic friendships (the same goes for toxic relationships) and bad friends.

We also tend to deny toxic relationships because most of us are exposed to so many of them that toxic relationship habits actually feel normal.

But the fact is, they are certainly not normal; they are detrimental to our health and development as individuals.

If people who are very important to you fall in this category, you cannot just leave them. Then, the best course of action would be to invest in your personal development so that you can transform your experience and those of the others around you. ‘

Join mindfulness, NLP and other personal development programs. If possible, also enrol your people into such courses.

Interested in working on your personal development?

Check out our courses to begin the transformation of your life.


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