How Chasing Happiness Becomes the Reason of Misery

Prabhleen Gupta

Prabhleen Gupta

Founder- Personal Mastery

Chasing Happiness

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Nobody likes to be sad or depressed in life. Happiness is the only thing that we all are so obsessed over. People keep chasing happiness in different forms, no matter what their caste, background, or gender is.

We live in a society where we are taught that happiness is something we have to strive for and the path towards it is also directed. Since childhood we are given the understanding of getting a job, getting married and having kids, or getting a good job is what happiness looks like.

And this becomes the reason for our constant chase for happiness. We always think that that high profile job would make us happy or marrying that particular person would only give us real happiness.

But hardly have we understood the real meaning of happiness.

Do we all know what makes us happy?

We take many steps in the pursuit of happiness that we think might make us happy. Since we always run for the money, it makes us think that we would be the happiest with more money. But as a matter of fact, money makes us happy to a limit.

Having a little bit more money than we need would make us happy but anything more than that would be the cause of misery and stress. When we depend on money or other external sources for our happiness we are giving them control of our emotions. The power is in the hands of other things or people to make us happy or sad.

The real meaning of happiness

Happiness is always confused with excitement and joyfulness. But is it practically possible for a human to stay joyful and excited all the time? Well, we live in a world where we have to go through many situations and handle certain emotions coming our way.

Therefore, one cannot always stay overjoyed. But this phenomenon of excitement and happiness often confuses people and also disappoints them when they face the reality that joy and happiness are not permanent.

Why Happiness is transient

One thing that we all fail to accept and understand is that happiness is not permanent. Like all other emotions, happiness is also short-lived and not ever-lasting. When we put all our energy into finding happiness, it runs away from us. So, we must keep our energy equally into all other emotions also for our mental peace and acceptance.

Making it a future goal

We make happiness our goal but keep it intact in materialistic things. For instance, we always have a plan to get our dream job or dream home and expect that we will be happy when we will get that five years down the lane or so. But, the more we place it in other things, the more it will go out of our hands.

When we assume that happiness will be in the future after achieving a certain milestone, we are avoiding the present. Underestimating the present moment would always leave us in a miserable situation. The habit of depending upon the future targets to be happy would become the reason for our frustration and depression.

Living in the present is the right solution to this problem. When we stop depending upon the future and believe that happiness is right here in this very moment, then we find happiness and get control in our hands.

Expecting to be Happy Always!

Also, the expectations of always being happy leave us depressed. When we are facing the high time of our life, we expect that everything will remain the same and we will be happy all the time. And we all know that change is a part and parcel of life.

Everything changes after a certain amount of time and the emotions we feel also change with the situation.

The people who are all depressed or unhappy are not because of materialistic things. They feel that way because they expected too much and things never went the way they wanted them to be. You will get your dream job or your dream home but you will never be able to cope with the fact that you wanted something else from life and even after buying everything of your choice you still feel empty.

When we depend on materialistic things for our happiness, we do everything in our control to get them. After getting all that there is extreme happiness for some time and after that, we start feeling normal. The excitement and joy are not always there, the reason being that things are not the right source of permanent happiness.

The only solution to this problem is acceptance. We need to accept that life is going to change at every phase and we have to face every emotion. Although it is the best thing, this way we get to feel every emotion and it also increases the value of happy moments.

If we will be happy all the time, we will stop valuing happiness. The absence of something keeps the things more valued.

Enhance your happiness without getting anxious

Increasing happiness does not mean buying more things or forcing yourself to be happy all the time in present. The way to happiness is by keeping happiness as a constant for your whole life no matter what the situation is; no matter you get that big house or not.

Real happiness is found in doing things that bring us mental peace and please our souls. Here the context is about doing things and not having things. We can have as much as we want but that will not guarantee us a happy life. Instead, we can make our life happy by taking action.

For your information, action-taking is a continuous process. If you do things for six months and expect yourself to be happy for your whole life, then it is your misconception. You have to work on yourself for your whole life. Yes! You heard me right, it is a life-long process to work on your happiness.

You need to change your lifestyle for a happy life and start doing meaningful things that will add value to your life and make you happy. For instance, a meditation on daily basis would calm your mind and you will feel a different kind of happiness for the whole day after meditating in the morning. However, it will not only make your day fulfilled but it will also improve your future through self-improvement.

Here are some tips in brief that will guide you to the path of happiness.

Live in the present

The best way to be happy is to live in the present without forcing happiness. For instance, if you watch something funny and are forced to laugh, you would hardly enjoy it but if you simply listen to it, you might find it funny and end up being happy.

Involve in fun activities

Engaging yourself in fun activities like listening to music, gardening, and hanging out with friends would make you a lot happier if you do it for fun. Doing nothing for yourself and expecting yourself to be happy is a myth, you need to work on being happy constantly.

Relive your favorite moments

There are some wonderful moments in our life that we always remember and enjoy even after years. There is nothing wrong with reliving those moments in our heads and savoring them to be happy. Those who savor the great moments of their life are assumed to be happier than those who don’t.

Change your perception

We often correlate our happiness and excitement. But studies say that it is not always possible to be excited and those who find happiness in calmness are proven to be much content with their life. So, being happy when we are calm is the right perspective, this way we can be happy in our low moments also.

Keep reasonable expectations

The most hurtful thing in the world is our expectations. Once, we learn to lower our expectations we will find our way to a peaceful life. If we keep expecting things to happen our way, life will keep on disappointing us now and then. So, lower your expectations but do not stop working for the things you want.


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