How to Detect Toxicity in Your Relationship
December 20, 202110 Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence
December 27, 2021Difficult people are everywhere around us during every phase of life. Or there might be a chance that we consider some people different from us as difficult. It is impossible to find people just like you wherever you go.
We often meet people in our life with whom we share the same vibe the moment we meet. And then there are people who we do not like since the very beginning. These are the people who challenge our values and ideas and often criticize our beliefs. Their habits of pointing out the negativity in everything always disappoint us.
Certain ways can help you deal with difficult people in life, but before jumping on to that, here is another thing you must know. Undoubtedly, some people are difficult to deal with, but sometimes, our fixed mindset makes the situation even worse. Our behavior totally changes around them, so it is better to understand our mindset about them before addressing them as a problem.
Our way of dealing with the people who we consider difficult
Whenever we see someone or talk to someone, our mind filters and puts them in the category of like or dislike. We start treating them in the same way, irrelevant of them being difficult or not.
Tag them
Humans are always quick to judge, and as judgmental beings, we easily tag people by the behavior they express. Everybody has certain flaws, but we tend to ignore ours while pointing out others’. The tag of being arrogant, fake, and manipulative signals our mind to treat that person with disinterest or disrespect. We hardly make any effort in understanding them or the reason behind their actions or words.
Rejecting their ideas
Once we judge someone, we restrict ourselves consciously or unconsciously in front of them. We start rejecting their ideas and beliefs. Every word coming out of them is considered negativity, and we easily justify rejecting them by considering how we feel around them. We can always seek the help of NLP practitioners to learn to accept others.
Assuming their intentions
Difficult people might have the habit of criticizing others or arguing with them for their values and beliefs, but they might not be doing it intentionally. We assume them as difficult as their intentions as bad behind their every action. However, it is not always the case, and their intentions might vary according to the situation. But we resist assuming them as good people.
Believe in our beliefs
No matter how hard the other person tries, our belief about them keeps becoming stronger whenever we meet them. It becomes near to impossible to change our beliefs and perceptions. Even if there is any evidence, we tend to reject it and view it in the opposite way, proving them to be even more difficult to deal with.
Ignoring our part
Have you thought that the reason for their difficult behavior might be you? We tend to ignore our actions that might lead others to behave a certain way. People are quick to judge others than introspecting themselves and trying to change anything. There is a chance if you try to make changes in your behavior, the difficult people would become easy to deal with.
Ways to handle difficult people
Certain things are not in our control when dealing with someone who challenges our values and beliefs. But we can always learn some ways that make it easier to be around such people. There is always an option of taking NLP therapy because you can opt for learning to handle tough situations.
Remember yourself of how kind you are
When one person is difficult, it is quite normal to react instantly and become difficult in response. But it always makes the situation worse, and things might go out of hand. Instead, being kind would bring negativity to an end, and it may affect the behavior of difficult people in a positive manner.
Kindness is the appropriate reaction to anything that gets on your nerves. But you should take time and relax your mind rather than arguing. After some time, you would realize how patience helped you deal with the most difficult situation and ended everything at peace.
Compassion is the solution
We are very quick to judge without understanding what the other person is going through or what made them behave this way. Maybe there are certain circumstances that made them tough and hard to understand. So, being compassionate can help us understand other people in a better way and react accordingly. It will help us handle the situation without making any assumptions about them.
Try creating a connection
Before making any judgments, try to find something common between you so that you can feel a connection or have a common topic to talk about. When we share a common interest with someone, it feels good to talk to them, or connecting with them becomes easy and comfortable. This is the best way to deal with difficult people and initiate the talks afterward.
Talk time to cool off
When we hear something that triggers our anger, the first thing we do is react immediately to something even worse and make situations worse. The right thing in such a situation is to take time to calm your mind and think of a kind and calm response. It is the only right way to handle the situation instead of getting infuriated and saying something that you regret later.
Let them be aware of your story
When you see someone continuously opposing you or criticizing you for your life decisions, you can try explaining to them your situation or the reason behind your life choices. Instead of lashing out at them or considering them as a bad person, you can share your side of the story in a polite and calm manner. It might help them understand you better and empathize with you. You might have some good advice from them unexpectedly. Sometimes, difficult people are a good source of support.
Respecting their views
No matter the person is difficult or not, treating others with disrespect is never an option. Even if you do not like what the other person is saying, shutting them out or disrespecting them for their opinion is not good on your part. On the contrary, respect can change a lot of things and make difficult people quite easy to deal with. There is a saying, treat people the way you want them to treat you. So, if you want others to respect you, first try giving it and then expect.
Avoid if possible
If it is not urgent or majorly required to talk to a difficult person, you always have the option of ignoring them for your own peace. There are people with whom we have to deal daily, but if we have the option of avoiding those people, then choose peace always.
For instance, our neighbors trouble us by their actions or words, and we can avoid long talk with them or limit our interaction to greeting only. But there are people like our coworkers who we cannot avoid in any situation. We should learn to differentiate the people’s importance and then deal with them.
Take a stand
Often, difficult people overpower us because we are afraid of conflicts or saying something disappointing to them. However, it is very important to avoid conflicts, but sometimes it becomes more important to stand up for yourself. It does not mean to lash out or behave disgracefully, but you must learn to take a stand and defend yourself with respect and power.
It does not mean to start a conflict with anybody who opposes you but not to be afraid of it if such a situation arises.
Observe your actions
Sit back and observe yourself that if something in you is making people behave this way. We often overlook that part that makes people criticize or judge us and blame them for their actions. However, first improving ourselves and the way we treat others can be a solution to every problem. Try and understand that we are not always right, and others are not always wrong. The situations can be conflicting, but people are not always as difficult as we consider them.
Take a control
Sometimes, we have to deal with difficult people, but there are certain situations that we can control and avoid difficult situations. Recognize the situation that you can control and take things in your hand for your peace.