7 Effective Ways to Resolve Conflicts with Your Partner

In today’s world, communication between couples has been reduced to texting. People communicate their feelings through text messages where it is hardest to understand the emotions and the tone of the communicator. It becomes the reason for a maximum of the conflicts between the partners.

Real communication is made when you are sitting in front of your partner and disusing what bothers you. Or in long-distance, you have the option of making voice or video calls.

But in this fast-paced world, we believe in giving up so quickly that without knowing the real reason behind the conflict, we decide to give up on our partner or hold them responsible for everything going around.

We need to understand that no relationship is perfect. The real relation will have fights, arguments, and disagreements. Even the dreamy couple in your friend circle or family would have lots of disagreements but what makes it perfect is the way they handle the situation and come back to each other after successfully resolving the fight.

Reasons of conflict

There are many reasons that cause fights or disagreements between couples. Let’s read below some of the common reasons.

Lack of communication

It is a very common reason for any fight. We assume more and talk less about the issues. That is why most of the issues remain unresolved. When two people are ready to work on their relationship, they have to sit and talk about the fights and resolve them. Sometimes, the communication in a toxic relationship fuels the fight and makes it worse. So, an appropriate amount of talking is suggested for any relationship.

Expecting more and getting less

High expectations often become the reason for conflicts. When the expectations of one person in the relationship are not fulfilled, they feel hurt and it causes fights. That does not mean that people should stop expecting but there should be a balance. The expectations and their fulfillment should be reasonable.

Trying to be controlling

The fights occur among the partners when one tries to control every situation. The overpowering nature of people breaks the relationships. The insecurity can be the reason for the controlling nature. But one should give proper space to their partner to keep them.

Hiding things

When one starts hiding things, the other always sense it and they might consider it as cheating. Sometimes, both start hiding things, it starts from tiny things but can go up to bigger issues.

Talking bitterly

Using the wrong kind of words can end up accelerating the fight. Words sometimes hurt more than actions. Therefore, one should be careful with their choice of words.

Constant criticism

When we keep on blaming our partners, they start getting distant. It might also affect their self-esteem and they will remove themselves gradually from your life and the relationships.

How to handle the conflicting situation

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we say things that we shouldn’t have and make the situation even worse. No doubt we regret later on our actions but things have gone wrong till then. So, to avoid such situations in your future, you must know how to handle these types of situations in a better way. You can also learn this skill through NLP certification from professionals.

Determination in resolving the conflicts

Our actions determine where we want to be in any relationship. If we focus on saving the relationship, no matter what we will end up saving it at any cost. If our focus diverts on defending ourselves from the blames or the attacks, it will never resolve the conflicts.

Most of the time, we end up doing the latter and think of ways to save ourselves from all the blaming. Instead, we should focus on removing the reason for blame, so that our partner feels that we care about the relationship.

If you focus on things like not letting the anger get in between the fight or resolving everything then it will automatically take to you in that direction. However, the situation would change if the focus shifts.

Talk about things

Talking about things does not mean that you start arguing or fighting. Talking means sitting or calling each other and discussing the solution to the problem. The discussion should not end up in an argument and the conclusion should be agreeing for both.

The communication is successful when both want to resolve the situation and listen to each other’s side of the story. If we focus on proving ourselves right all the time, the issue would never be resolved. Sometimes knowing everything but agreeing to your partner for your and their mental peace is the right thing. Proving the point is not more important than saving your relationship.

Understand better through misunderstandings

The couple who fixes any situation through communication would always grow fonder of each other. If we consider the conflicts as a way to take revenge for the past mistake of our spouse the relationship will come to a dead-end very soon.

The best way is to understand your partner more through the conflicting situation. When you pay attention to what upsets them and why they reacted the way they did, you can avoid the same situation in the future.

When you both try to resolve the conflict, you will get to know each other’s values more than before and the outcomes of various situations. Therefore, whenever there is an argument or conflicting situation, you must try to understand your partner and try to get a hold of the things without making them furious.

Crack appropriate jokes

Using the right kind of humor to lighten up the situation can be a big help. But do not use humor as a defense, to get yourself out of the issue. If you observe that a mistake can hype the situation, avoid it laughingly.

But if your partner is discussing some serious problem with you, do not start joking around. It will make them think that you think less of their feelings.

Accept your partner for who they are

A relationship is built on acceptance. Both have to accept each other, including the flaws and the good qualities. A successful relationship requires a lot of understanding and avoiding mistakes. Everyone has some qualities that we are attracted to and some habits that annoy us.

Instead of focusing on their annoying side, we should focus on the positive side of our partner. If they are treating you with love then you should not be bothered about other things. Accepting them would make you love every aspect of their behavior.

Maybe, there are certain things in your nature that they are happily accepting and loving every side of you.

Don’t fall back on negative patterns

Every human has a pattern in the way they deal with positive or negative kinds of situations. We must understand our pattern in the situation when we get hurt or angry. Do you keep it inside and let it grow till you lash out with your bitter words or give your partner ‘the silent treatment’ whenever they do something wrong?

According to us, it is the best way to deal with the issue, because your partner convinces you at the end whenever the situation occurs. But is it the right way? What if they get fed up with this pattern and stop coming back to us.

Therefore, we must stop behaving in the same negative pattern and fix the problem with communication and understanding.

Learn to forgive each other

When in a relationship, there are situations that we get hurt by our partner or they get hurt by our actions. In both situations, there requires forgiveness to each other to move on in the relationship with the same kind of energy and love.

It will never happen overnight, forgiveness will take a lot of time and space. You need acceptance instead of dwelling over the mistakes. If you are on the other side, then give your partner a proper time and space to understand and forgive you.

There are no such relationships where partners do not fight or disagree over things. They definitely do but more important thing is to overcome the issues and value each other more than before.